The Meaning in Our Pain

Like everyone else in the world right now, I have a lot of time on my hands.  Time to focus on other things in my life instead of just the hustle and bustle of life and work.  I have more time to focus on things in my home, more time to read, and more time to think.  Think about all the things I’m blessed with in my life and what I have to offer others around me.  It also has allowed more time to think of the life I want and what I’m missing.

I’ve been trying to focus a lot on my perspective and how I view things.  It’s so easy when you’re facing a struggle to feel sorry for yourself.  To want to the play the victim and constantly ask “why me?”  I’m speaking from personal experience here.  I constantly get caught up in my feelings and emotions and wanting to wallow in self pity.  But is that really how I want to live my life?  Do I really want to walk around with a chip on my shoulder and feeling sorry for myself?  No.  And neither do you.

I’m not saying that you can’t be devastated and sad and angry and all of the things.  I don’t think it’s possible to not feel those emotions.  But to cope and deal with our pain and loss has to be managed in a healthy and positive way.  Look around at what you do have.  Change your perspective.  Thank God for the things you do have.  Because we have so much!  And we can’t forget that.  We have a husband that loves and supports us.  We have family and friends that are rooting for us.  There is joy to be found if we can only pull ourselves out of our pain to see it.

There are so many beautiful things that I’ve experienced and seen since I’ve opened up about our journey.  I’ve had strangers reach out to me through different forms of social media offering support and prayers.  How beautiful is that!?  I have people that I will never meet, praying that God blesses me and Greg with a baby.  And so do you! I’m praying for you! I’m here to offer you encouragement and love and support as much as I can!  I had someone leave a card on my desk at work with a prayer cloth that was anointed by their church that was prayed over for me and Greg!  I have no clue who it was from, but it is one of the most meaningful and beautiful things that someone has done for me.  I went from being completely alone in this, to being filled with love and prayers.  That is what I have to focus on.  The beautiful blessings that come from this.

I’ve seen a lot of women open up lately about their struggles with infertility.  At first, I’m filled with so much sadness and hurt for them because I feel what they’re feeling.  I understand their pain.  I would never wish this pain on anyone.  I read in a book recently, “Vulnerability is the key to overcoming the trap that shame sets.”  Sister, the vulnerability you’re showing by sharing your story is one of the bravest things you can do.  Putting your heart out there for everyone is something to be applauded for.  I see you, I’m proud of you, and I’m here for you.  As crazy as this may sound but I’m so happy when I see women opening up about their journey, because I know what they overcame to do that.  The more we talk about it, the less of a stigma there will be on it.  The less shame we will feel.  And isn’t that a win for us?  Isn’t the point for us to feel less alone?  Less ashamed of ourselves?

God gave me this story to share, not to hide.  Our job is help others.  To love others.  There is meaning in our pain.  There is meaning in our stories and the paths that we walk.  It’s all about how you choose to see it.  Everything doesn’t happen for a reason; everything that happens has a meaning.  There’s not a reason I have to struggle with infertility.  There’s a meaning for it.  I’m meant to help others with this.  I’m meant to grow stronger because of it.  And so are you.

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