If you’re reading this, then I’m sure you’re in the same position that I am now. Or maybe you were there once and know what it’s like. Or maybe you haven’t experienced it, but you know several of your friends that have, and maybe you want to try to understand what they’re going through. Know matter why you’re reading this…know that your brokenness is welcome here.
Before I begin, please know that I am not an expert on infertility. I am not a professional. What I have felt and gone through, may not be the same as your experience. How I react may not be the same way that you react. Something I may feel, may not be what you feel or have felt. So please do not think that my experience will be the same as yours.
This is meant to be a safe place. Not only for myself, but for others who may decide to comment/post on this. It’s hard enough to open up about something as fragile and private as infertility without having to worry about someone else’s comments or opinions.
The purpose of me starting this blog was to let others know that they are not alone in this. There are so many other women/couples that struggle with infertility. I wanted to let others know that it’s okay to feel what you’re feeling. Infertility is a lonely journey, especially if you don’t have anyone to talk to that’s experienced what you’re going through. And, honestly, even if no one reads anything that I post, at least I have an outlet for myself to get my own feelings out. So win win.
Like I mentioned before, I am not an expert on infertility. I’m still learning daily. Learning about my body and also learning about myself, emotions, and the strength that I have. What I do know, is that there is no right or wrong way to deal with it. And I do not want you to let anyone tell you that there is.
If you cry every day, that’s okay. If you’re angry every day, that’s okay. If you’re constantly picturing yourself pregnant every day, that’s okay. It’s okay to feel what you feel. It’s going to be impossible not to. There are days where I wake up and cry the whole time I’m getting ready for work. There are days that I cry in my car going home from work. Some days I will cry seeing a pregnant woman on TV. And I think it’s okay. Because you have to get the feelings and emotions out.
What I don’t want you to do is let it consume you. While that may seem contradictory from what I said above, let me be clear about something. I think you have to have your moment…get it out….cry as much as you need…talk about it…and then pick yourself up and keep going. Do not let it consume all of your energy. Because it can easily cause you to become depressed and make you miss out on everything else going on around you.
I had a sweet friend tell me something one day that stuck with me. She said that while going through infertility is a huge thing for a couple to go through, and while it isn’t easy whatsoever, we still have so much to be grateful for. God has blessed us with so much and we can’t lose sight of that. We still have to be thankful and grateful during this time of pain. We still have to see the beauty around us.
As I wrap up this post, I just want to say that there may be times that it seems like my posts may be all over the place. It may be very inconsistent and no rhyme or reason. But that’s how infertility is. Up and down and all over the place. I may write one day about how great of a day I had, but then the next day talk about what a mess I am. And that’s okay.
I hope that if you go along with me on this journey and read any of my posts, that they help you. That they bring you some sort of comfort knowing someone else is feeling exactly what you’re feeling. And honestly I can’t wait to have more of a community for myself to learn and lean on as well.